You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
