I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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