I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
