I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
