sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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