her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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