Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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