Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize