I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
