I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my liver is dry heaving
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
