I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize