just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
