At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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