booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
