dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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