i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
