I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
