its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Such a big mess for such a small penis
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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