what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
