he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
