Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I love you. Go after that dick
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
