in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
