he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
