so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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