I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
