as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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