In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
