just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
