8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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