You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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