her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
