everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
