Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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