I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
