Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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