I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
