It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
