once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
