She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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