My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
