What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize