I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i drank out of a bidet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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