WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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