i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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