Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
