Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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