I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
