Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
