Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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