so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
