I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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