You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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