Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
