I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize