why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
there was a trapeze. enough said
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
