And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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