I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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