i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
