If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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