Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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