I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where is the hickey?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
