Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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