It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize