The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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