toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
