She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
