That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
