thus making me awesome and them whores
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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