shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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