I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
