Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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