the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
