Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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