we have officially lost it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
